The Church Lady

Once in awhile, people from the church would come to my door and do their duty as Christians. They give out flyers, talk about their religion..

Last week, two ladies were at my door. One of them seem so enthusiastic, I felt bad to cut her off. So what I did was, I pretended not to understand Japanese. I knew she'd pull out a book of different language. When she asked what language would be more suitable for me, I thought about it for a minute or two, and I thought hard. I said "Malay", figured she wouldn't have it. Seeing Malays are mostly Muslims, they wouldn't even go through the trouble to introduce to Malays right? However, guess what?! She found something that was written in Malay! It was just a self introduction though.

Today, the same lady appeared at my door again. Today she brought a copy of "Do You Want To Know Bout The Truth? Obviously she went online and printed this.

I looked at her disbelievingly with my two 'you're interrupting my sleep' eyes. She saw that and she apologized over and over again. I took the copy and as I was about to tell her that I'm really not interested, she said that she'd come another day and maybe next time I'd let her in my house so she could tell me more.

As touching as it is.. but NO, lady, no more next time I thought. I'd never open my door again! Speaking of keen Christians..

When one's keen & enthusiastic enough..

Midnight tears .

I just got up from a dream. A bad dream. A bad dream that brought tears to my eyes. A bad dream that took all of my energy. I feel so helpless. What happened in the dream..

I was somewhere in a foreign land, where the land was infected with a disease. Most of the people were held at the hospital for blood testing. That time, I was just walking around, seeing people suffer from this disease that was killing them slowly. I don't quite remember the first one and the second one started spreading. It was these blue deadly bugs, it stings you and you're dead. However, of course one doesn't die immediately. This time, everyone had to go for the blood testing, including me. They had this little plastic thing, somehow it could penetrate your skin and as they press the rectangular part, it sucks up your blood.

(Here's something I drew from my memory)

Yes, those were the places they poke! That little thing works like a.. (with pressure) I'm not sure the name of the apparatus they use in labs, not sure the science term for it. So I'm comparing it to a toilet clogger. Anyway I saw how they poke that thing into your skin and how the blood get sucked up. After that, they checked the colour of the eyes, if your irides are blue, then you're definitely infected. The girl in front was infected as her blue eyes got even more bluer than usual, and when they told her that, she started dropping blue tears. It wasn't so amazing in the dream, because it freaked everyone out. People started rushing around, contacting their family, friends. As for me, I just sat there. I thought to myself, if anything should happen to me, I would ask someone to pretend to be me and talk to my parents, family & friends back at home like I usually do. It doesn't make sense now, but it did at that moment. As I got nearer, being next to my turn, I started freaking out. I tried to run from there, I stood up from the bench.

Luckily for me, I then realized I was having a dream. I woke up immediately, but everything seemed so clear, so real. It was really frightening to know that you might actually die, that if you die, what would you do with the people you love so much.

Would you rather them to not know about your death, & die alone. Or rather let them know so at least they could mourn for you?

- Still bit shaky from that nightmare. -

"No matter what happen, I'll always be with you.

I won't let those things near you,

you'll be okay.

Even if they do, they have to get me first,

I won't let a thing harm you".

So YOU said.

Thank YOU,

For waking up in the middle of the night, listening to my craps.

Telling me things that made me feel so much better.

Knew I could count on YOU.

Beautiful evening ♥

When someone has gotten used to you being nice,

it doesn't matter how hard you try.

It won't mean a thing,

because it is just a NORM.

Korean 焼肉 ( Yakiniku )

That means grilled meat. It was 'Eat All You Can', but I think I only had like 5 pieces and I already felt like I've eaten the whole cow. But the Tako (octopus) was good. Looks kinda gross though when it wasn't cooked. Like big worm? I imagined it moving on the net, then I got freaked out.

Bowls of rice then came, with raw eggs on top! Eww!

The 'not-so-famous' pose for photo. Eww!

=P HA` The chef.

He just couldn't be normal for a photo.

Good thing I had two layers of clothes on,

didn't like how I smelled like after that.

Oh and btw,

None of us are Koreans :)

1 day before the exam...

Finally, I was willing to study. So I made plans and went to school, which later turned out to be hours of 'nothing'. I'm very good at procrastinating :) One of the best! HA`

He looks a lot like one of the football players! Don't you think?!

I'm taking Business tomorrow,

I don't think I need to study,

But LUCK!..

that, I need :)

The 'fun'

The new 'fun' at school..

& there, abused 'fun'!

"人类总是喜新忘旧"

How true is that?

=)

Blue Sky

Such beautiful day

Wednesday is my favourite day of the week,

currently.. =)

Yet another, 29th

The hot summer days are finally here! The weather has not only been hot, but also humid! Everywhere I go, people smell like they've just came out from a strenuous workout at the gym!

I was praying for summer to come more quickly last few months, I think I'm going to regret it now. Not that I don't enjoy being tanned and all, but sweaty and sticky?! It is like having the whole steam room follow you everywhere. You're always wet, and today I couldn't even see things clearly. It was exactly like how it is in the steam room, only bit clearer.

And guess what?

It is Suit Day!

It has been just nice these few days,

thank you, C ♥

& Today, it would have been our 5th.

Damned fish!

Need I say more? ♥

So I was in the train the other day thinking, if someone smells like fish market sits right beside you and you can't stand the smell.. what would you do?

1. Get away from your seat and stand elsewhere

2. Stay there till you get off, despite the fact that you might just puke any minute

It was a hard decision, I stayed still thinking, if I stayed there and hold my breath, I would go out of breath any minute and I might suffocate and die! But if I went away, would I be hurting or embarrass that person? I mean, you might tell me it is no big deal, but if someone were to move away from me, I would most definitely feel it. Obviously, I'm no good at putting myself first when it comes to things like that. I stayed there till I get off the train. It was hell of a torture!

I've got the answer to my question,

I suppose I just need to learn to accept it.

Daddy Day 2010

Notice the cardboard on the piano chair, still there after 15years?! When I was a kid, I always wanted to take it off, it made me look better playing the piano, without it. But now, thank goodness my dad was already an OCD freak then, I have the newest looking 15years old piano chair & of course the piano, good as new!

Few years back, when we still had the greens in our home!

This whole OCD thing that runs in the family made me who I am today. So don't complain, it RUNS IN THE FAMILY! But it really isn't that bad, at least I'm clean? I remember once, I asked my dad to take this survey about coloured candies.

The survey asked, "What would you do if you had a handful of coloured candies"?

A : Put them all in a bottle.

B: Separate & put them in bottles following the colours.

Of course you've guess what my dad's answer was. This is not the only thing, but really, I find it funny! But other people seem to get annoyed at OCD people. I was folding my paper prints the other day, and my friend scolded me crazy. But I really don't understand how they could study without making it nice first!

So anyway, it was Father's Day yesterday. Daddy wasn't feeling well, poor thing. Look at him, he looked scary!

But, the smiling face is not that convincing either.

But that's okay, daddy!

I love you still!

& you're still my best friend!

Happy Father's Day!

Ew, birds!

Q: What do the little bird say to the big bird?

A: Peck on someone your own size!!

Did you know why are woodpeckers so happy?

Because, they eat whatever bugs them.

Don't you wish you could swallow anything, everything, too? HA.

Then, all problems solved! =)

Happy Happy Hop Hop!

Sometimes I feel this happiness in me that I have no clue where it comes from. They say 'happiness is short-lived', which is so true. I feel it for a few minutes, sometimes few hours. I sing, I smile for no obvious reason, I talk to myself (HAHA) then I laugh... Then of course until something has to come and spoil it. Of course that something need not be a person or a group of people, or the noisy birds. Things like, dirty laundry, messy table, untidy room, etc. get to me sometimes.

It's obvious that my mood changes like the currency exchange rate, it goes up and it goes down without any kind of warning. Don't mind the comparison, all these business related studies I do everyday now are really 'forceful'. It is like, me sitting in a car that operates on its own, driving towards "World of Business".

'Forceful', but I'm really looking forward to see what it is like when I get there.

Till then,

xoxo.

HAPPY.

Babies!

What do you call this?

I was so tempted to get this, but I could barely even fit an arm in it. Bet it'd look cute on any baby!

I want a baby!!!! I'm tired playing with dolls.

=)

Did you realize how babies always smell nice, combination of milk and powder?

What's better than a cute baby that smells good?

Movies?

So I went to the movies the other day. It was Sex and The City 2 anyway if any of you were curious. It was fabulous! Love Samantha, always the wild and fun one!

So I wasn't really looking forward to watch the movie, only because of the unpleasant experiences I had at previous cinemas I went to. It was the small & narrow, not so much like cushion seats etc. Worse than GSC, which was really unacceptable since this is Tokyo! But now I know, it was just those sucky cinemas which I don't plan to visit again.

This time, I had a big chair, almost enough to fit 2 persons! Okay.. Maybe I exaggerated a little bit, but it could at least fit more than one normal person! Which was really nice. The cinema was huge and it looked clean, I'm sort of a germ freak, so I could 'detect' germs! It may sound funny, but it's true!

Another thing is, Japanese people are always really quiet throughout the whole movie. They don't even laugh at funny scenes, not that I want to hear loud laughters or anything. But it would be nice to have someone laugh with you and be normal. I mean, normal people laugh at normal funny scenes, right? But that doesn't seem like the case, so guess what? Ever since I realized that, I giggled and laughed silently to myself at the movies. It hurts sometimes or maybe I turned purple, even!

I was sitting inside, last in the row. When the movie ended, I was all prepared to leave. But I was so surprised when nobody moved at all! 3 or 4 people went out right after, but the rest just stayed there! They were all just staring at the screen, like the credits moving up the screen were the most interesting thing they've ever seen! I'm pretty sure I've given them several hints that I'd like to get out, but nobody seemed to be bothered! So there I was, staring at them, fascinated. Until the credits on the screen came to an end, finally.. everybody started to stand up and leave.. Interesting huh?!

Summer has arrived.

Anger

ANGER :

It is like a parasite! It feeds, it sucks and it is growing in me, larger by minute. Under certain circumstances, I'm unable to talk about it. What more, fix it. So I've been playing the role of an emotionless person, which by the way, isn't easy at all. Then when I'm offstage, these emotions just start surfacing against my will. As being temperamental is unhealthy, this is one of the few things that might just help. Write it.

p/s: Screaming into a pillow is one of it too.

Screaming into a pillow still helps at this point,

but what happens when it stops working?

Damaged.

My daily challenge.

Sometimes I feel like I want to give up and run back down the ladder, which seems like a much easier thing to do. But I know I can't always take the easy way out, so here I am. Struggling everyday with the same thought in my head, looking up at the other end of the ladder, wondering...

"When, when am I ever going to get there..."

Everyday, I ask myself,

"Just how long can you stay up there?"

Everyday, I tell myself,

"I can do it"

But as days go by, it just gets harder to do.

Regrets?

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most :

Saying something and wishing you had not?

or

Saying nothing, and wishing you had?

There are things that sometimes words can't describe,

but that doesn't give you the reason to keep quiet about it.

If words can't describe, there must be another way.

There is always another way.

An egg?

OR

A duck?

This should keep you wondering for a little bit. But I have a story to tell.

29052010

So sorry we couldn't make it

Mother's Day 2010

You said I'm Pinga? Haha.

It has been 2years since I moved here. But I could never forget the days before I left, it was rather a last minute decision to fly here. I didn't have much time to linger around but I did anyway. But it was as if my mum was the one who was going to leave. She rushed here and there buying my things, getting things ready for me. She even packed my whole luggage for me.

You know how you always get the special treatment when you're leaving and going somewhere far away from your family? But my mum has been like that since I was a little girl, she's always more anxious than I am, in almost everything. Despite being asked many times, I was quite reluctant to leave, so I didn't want to pack my bag. As expected, mum started packing while me and daddy just laughed as it worked, (part of me was lazy, so I chose to ignore the whole leaving thing) the trick worked. But one thing I didn't say at that time was how sad I was, and how I wanted to just cry and cancel the whole coming here thing. The picture of mum sitting there packing still at 2 in the night, still comes up in my mind every now and then.

I knew I could manage on my own, but having my mum with me, helping me through everything was a better choice. It didn't help in making me independent, but it definitely made me happy!

Yes, mum loved dressing me up. Remember how she loved tying my hair, I didn't like it because it used to hurt as I used to have so much hair on my head ( I still do anyway ), so it wasn't easy to tie them all up and make it neat. But as I got older, I learned that my brother is one year younger than I am, so mum was never free to do everything at once. But still she'd dressed me up and made me look like a doll everyday. That time I was already able to tie my own hair, but still I miss having my mum to do my hair for me. It felt good every once in a blue moon where she'd offer to tie my hair for me.

Mum, do you still remember the red mechanical pencil you gave me as an award for my good grades when I was little? You made me the happiest kid that day. Kids used to be so easily satisfied huh? I don't know about kids nowadays though, it doesn't seem like it anymore. But whatever it is, you always make me a happier kid no matter how old I am.

You're my very own hero in my heart :)

You might not be the best mum in the world,

but you are definitely the best mum for me!

The mum that everybody would wish for!

That would be one of the reasons why,

I love you, mummy!

Happy Mother's Day!

Every 60seconds of happiness

You know how sometimes you get angry at something small but yet it could be big deal for yourself? It's even more annoying when you can't shout at the person you're angry with.

GRRRRRRR...

It seems like,

I just need to find a way to get over it.

Theory or Fact?

"不是你的就别再勉强"

Translated: If it isn't yours, don't force it.

Recently, a friend of mine got turned down by a girl, again. He fancies this girl for quite awhile now, one day when he finally got the courage to ask the girl out.. well, he got turned down. But the girl did ask for some time to think about it. So he didn't give up, he asked again after awhile, only this time it ruined their friendship.

When people say if you want to make something yours, you keep trying, never give up. But does that really work? Is it just a theory or a fact? Like my friend, he didn't give up, but what he got in the end is not a relationship, but a ruined friendship, broken heart. If he would have stopped trying after the first time, he'd still have the friendship. But what would people say? That he didn't want her enough, that's why he could never get her.

So really, if something isn't yours, should you stop trying and let it go?

Or keep trying till it's yours?

Which should I say to my poor, heart broken friend?